Sing Sang Song

Here with the first of our user submissions today!

This one comes from CoH forumite Psylenz, and is quite amazing. Sing weaves a truly tragic tale of a flawed protagonist. Angry at his lot in life, impoverished, crushed by meteors, lashing out at those trying to help him with violence and dethkicks.

Realising what he has done, he travels the city, seeking to atone for his crimes by using the very curse that wrenches his soul, turning misfortune into a force for righteousness. His transformation becomes a spectacle for the city at large, despite the danger of moving in his direction.

It's touching.

Lemmy Hurtchu

This... Wow.

I clicked onto this name expecting a laugh, or at least a small chuckle. I am honestly somewhat worried at this point.

By far one of the most cryptic things I have ever seen. I'm presuming someone knows. If you do, don't tell. Just don,t. I'm not sure I even want to know.

Thorin TheArbolester

Yes, gentle readers, you did in fact read the title of today's post correctly.




Thorin Thearbolester. Or so it would seem. In fact his screenname is capitalised to become Thorin TheArbolester! Cunning. Despite having been born into a medieval world and gone to "Paladin School" (aah, good old PSU. I remember it like it was yesterday, the halls, the armour clad lecturers, the first-day hazing being burnt at the stake... Good times) Thorin was not quite old enough to know the difference between good and evil. Precocious child, apparently. Not QUITE precocious enough to not join up with a bunch of snake-men who slaughtered his schoolmates...

Then again, we are talking about a schoolchild here. Once he found out the cult were going to eviscerate his teachers he was probably chomping at the bit to join up.

Additionally, despite a medieval upbringing in a school for zealous warriors of God and childhood in a snake-worshipping cult, he has found time for a strong background in science. God knows MY interest in science was first sparked by insane snake cultists. It's like a rite of passage, really.

All in all a well developed, strong and well thought out bio.qw

Many Flags

Greetings to you all, and I hope your holiday of choice has been enjoyable and fun.

There's honestly not a great deal one can say about this biography. We clearly have here an individual who is on a level of brilliance far beyond our ken. Timid questions from lowly hoi polloi are met with cold disdain. One whose tempeture has reached critical level has no time for such Earthly concerns!

Those who would approach him in the guise of a mere superhuman are callously cast aside. "RP=LAME" he intones, a hand cast imperiously to a corner of the earth where he cannot be subjected to your foul presence. Just to drive home his point as you dejectedly drag yourself from his sight he activates his legendary Gay-Dar and lo and behold! It points squarely on you, peasant.

In a truly magnanimous show of generousity, however, he will allow you to regard his divine visage and will in fact enlighten seekers as to the origin of his looks. "I am sparta Insect!" he declares, kicking a passing pedestrian into a bottomless pit. "Insect PVE, Robo Insect, Roman Suit!" He is not bound by physical laws of appearance. His final visage is so heavenly, so perfect, that for us to gaze upon it before he has worked upon it we would be struck utterly blind.

I barely survived my encounter with him. Such tempeture... It was far too critical for such as I.

Maiden Of Bones

And after our last rather ho-hum entry comes this absolute gem of bad biography. A veritable symphony of awful writing.

Now, it could be that this biography is in fact a cutting satire on the state of modern comic writing. It could be that with his child-like manipulation of language, grammar and spelling he is in fact poking fun at the child-like manipulation of background, motivation and drama that plagues the pages of heroic stories.

Alternatively he could be an illiterate with a fondness for raep. The world may never know.